i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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