Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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