So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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