Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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