Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
