U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
