she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize