He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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