i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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