absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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