im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize