her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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