Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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