And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
