Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
