New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
