3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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