Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
