I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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