Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize