Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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