I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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