I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
