I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
