i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
