i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
