You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
