My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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