He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
