happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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