I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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