At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
How's work?
Spinning.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
