Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
