Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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