Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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