giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
