remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
