So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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