You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
