I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
