I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
