So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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