meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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