either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
