I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
