? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize