it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
