well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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