i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
