don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize