Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
