he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize