the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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