So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
so explain again why im purple
no
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
