Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
