you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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