Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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