I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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