you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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