Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She told me I should be a condom model.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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