i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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