and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
