that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
