I love black thongs
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
