I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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