i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
