You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize