I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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