Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
