New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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