some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
