i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
